Dont Cry, Rockstar.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Summer, Please Stay.

Originality is so hot right now. Too bad you don’t have it.

As much as I hate to admit it, you are so getting on my nerves. But it’s okay, I’ll be over it in a minute. I’m not one to hold grudges.

Just remember this little fact, sweetie. Imitation is the best form of flattery.
Instead of wasting my time, bitching about the fact that you have no originality whatsoever, I’m going to write about something else.

Isn’t writers block a bitch? I’ve been sitting here, staring at the white, blank space and the blinking line of Microsoft Word. Nothing interesting has happened to me lately. I’ve been planning a summer of fun, excitement and spontaneity. But instead, all I’ve experienced lately are days of dullness, boredom and the fucking summer heat.

School is nearing, summer is ending. Weeks of schoolwork, late nights of studying, early mornings, boring lectures, lifeless teachers, bunches of requirements, bundles of quizzes, exams and uniforms are right around the corner. What a way to make school sound worse than it already is. But face it, some of us are looking forward to it.

No denying it, I’m ready for school. For one, I’m ready to prove to my folks that I can do a good job in my academics, and make them proud for once. I’m not trying to be a goody-goody-two-shoes, but I really want to see the expressions on their faces when I get superb grades. I know I have it in me, I just haven’t focused yet.

I promised myself that there would be no slacking off this sophomore year. I’m going to aim high and do the best I can.

But as of now, while summer is still here, I’m going to savor it, so when it ends, there’ll be absolutely no regrets.

So, now, I’m off to read another book of GOSSIP GIRL. It’s just so addicting. It’s hard to extract yourself once you’ve started.

It’s just so catty and scandalous, you can’t help but await what comes next.

If only my life were as fabulous and spontaneous as Blair Waldorf or Serena van der Woodsen’s, I wouldn’t have to worry about being bored. Or having writer’s block, because all the interesting shit happens to people like them, there’s so much to talk about.

Toodles.

10:11 PM
Strut It. ♥

Summer, Please Stay.

10:10 PM
Strut It. ♥

Monday, May 14, 2007

Screw You.

I used to think Love was this magical thing everyone looked forward to sharing with a certain someone. But as moments pass, I learn that Love hurts people more than anyone or anything can possibly do.

I hate love for hurting my friends. I hate it for making them miserable and breaking them apart. I can’t say I hate love for hurting me because, let’s face it. I’m not in love. And I hope it remains that way. Back to the point.

I hate love for breaking my friends’ hearts. I want love to die. Is there such a thing as an everlasting love?

The more I see love hurt the people around me, the more I’m afraid of it. I won’t deny it. I am afraid. To love and be loved. I see the people I care about be crushed because of love. They say nothing lasts forever. I guess when you’re in love, you feel like you’re on top of the world. But the truth of the matter is: Love is just a momentary lapse. Love lasts for a short while. Maybe it lasts longer if you’re really lucky.

I’m not looking forward to falling in love. Maybe I will in the future. It’s all in good time. But as of now, I’m going to treat love as if it doesn’t really matter.

Love is stupid.

Love is for (Like my bitch always says) Fools.

I’m the girl that runs up to you when I see you. And I’m the girl who jumps at every moment to talk to you, and I am the girl who REGRETS IT ALL LATER.

2:10 AM
Strut It. ♥

Monday, May 7, 2007

Why, Hello.

This is one of those lazy days wherein I practically melt in the summer heat. And right after I woke up this morning, I blank-stared and realized something. I became aware that the fixation I used to have on you dissolved in the summer air. No matter how much I tried to avoid it, it seemed like the shattered pieces of whatever you could call what we had is too tiny that they seem impossible to put back together.

This entry might be a little too emotional, but I need to unload. And just so all of you know, I am not emo. I am not that i-hate-the-world-i-might-as-well-just-kill-myself type. There are just days wherein you feel shitty and useless. And surprise, surprise. These are one of those days.

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are the it-might-have-been’s and the what-could-have-been’s.

People have said that love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness, error and betrayal. It dies of illness and wounds, it dies of weariness, of withering and in this case, of tarnishing.

You know, I wish I could say this fell apart because there was someone else. But worse than that, it fell apart on our own terms. It fell apart because we made it. We messed up.

I could say you’re so worth the fight. But then I’d be lying.

It’s hard to be attached to somebody. Like you are used to all the routines you go through with that someone every single day, as if you'll not live without it, then suddenly IT STOPS WITH NO APPARENT REASON. The worst part of it is that you can't blame them because in the first place, you never really owned their heart.

I know the perfect dude is out there somewhere looking for his dudette. Oh My God, that sounded gross. But it’s true. I’m not looking for that perfect dude. From now on, I am a man-hater. Hahaha.

Okay guys, I promise I will stop grossing you out with all this lovey-dovey shit. This will hopefully be the last of it. I hate writing about this sort of thing. I don’t know why I started it in the first place.

Right now, I don’t really care anymore. I’m done.

10:16 PM
Strut It. ♥

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Hey, Pain.

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality. We hurt ourselves so others can’t. People are afraid of their feelings. Afraid of loving someone too much, and when that person doesn’t love you back, you’re left with nothing but an empty heart and an ache in the pit of your stomach. People talk about how great love is. But that’s such bullshit. Love isn’t everything. Love hurts. Love is for people who try to convince themselves that there is only one person out there for everyone. That everyone’s destined to be with someone. If that is so, then would someone please explain to me why there’s this crazy fat lady, living next door, who owns 5 lazy-ass cats. She lives alone. No maids, no family, and possibly no friends. And no man to support her, to love her. Where’s the dude who’s destined to be with her?

People have shown me, based on their experiences that pain is evil and dangerous. How do you expect people to love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. Let’s take this as an example. You’re in love, with the guy next door. You think everything is going perfect. You hear the birds chirping, the sun is bright, the clouds are smiling at you and it seems like nothing can go wrong. But then, he tells you there’s someone else. You’re broken. The next time a guy comes along, you have your guard up. You thank the dude who hurt you previously because now, you’re careful and aware of your feelings.

People try to hide their pain. They try to pretend that everything’s fine, everything’s okay, everything’s super. But deep down, they’re shattered, into tiny pieces that seem impossible to put back together. The people who hide their pain not only fool others, but fool themselves as well.

Pain in something you should carry. The only good thing about it is that you feel your strength in the presence pain. It’s all in how you carry it. How you show it. That’s what matters.

Pain is a feeling and your feelings are part of you, they’re part of who you are, they’re the ones who build you up and break you down. But when they break you down, you get back up and feel even stronger than before.

If you hide your pain, and if you feel ashamed of it, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You’re letting them be aware that you’re reluctant to show who you really are. Sure, if you show your pain, society would know that someone broke your heart. But it also lets them know that you’re aware of what people can do to you. You have your guard up. No one can hurt you.

So stand up for your right to feel your pain.

No one can hurt you.

Better you than me.

11:13 PM
Strut It. ♥